Life in the Way

Connecting Beyond The Obvious Back To The Obvious.

Obvious is a word that I would define as on the surface and common. My experience with God is not all that obvious. It tends to be beyond obvious. Normal life tends to be day to day and emotionally driven. When I am down, I tend to unwittingly become self-destructive. It takes a conscious effort to keep God in the forefront. In these times, even keeping my focus on God has a tendency to come up short. I can start to question the power of God to make a difference, to pull me out, but inevitably things begin to happen in not so obvious ways. Little things, but powerful. In these dry times, in the effort, it takes patience and a deeper look at life.

There are always things that I can focus on that will continue to perpetuate the downward emotion of the day. I often wonder how it was for King David or Job or even Jesus. Why would they continue to forge on with God? Did they think that they were not really connected to the true Creator? Maybe they had aspect of God persona right and other wrong?

Did they have a deep, rich experience with the Almighty that they reflected on or that kept them grounded? Were they of unusual character? Well, the short answer is “yes.” With Jesus as the exception (because He was God) the others had an incredible faith that provided “manna from heaven” for the journey.

Yet, at the same time, they were no different from me and you. They had good day and bad days. They wrestled with tough conversations, honesty, relationships, and parenting. Did Job beat himself up about his ability to parent - you bet ya. Did David flipflop on issues? Why did Saul all of a sudden turn on him? Did David want to be loved by him? Joseph was thrown in a pit because his brothers despised him so. Was he aware of the way he was coming off? All that said to connect with the real people - not a fantasy biblical hero.

So, what about me? Today is one of those days. A day when I feel like poor me and I am tending to give in to the self-destructive tendencies that are born to my history and genetics. Rationalize as I may, I am waiting patiently on my God to hear the cries of my heart today and lift me out of my emotion. Patience is key, but facing the factors that continue to lend themselves to separating me from who God intended me to be is my reality. Those destructive aspects of me are not obvious either. They have the nasty ability to rear their heads unbeknownst and to ever so slowly and destructively eat away at my spirit from the inside out.

As Job sat in the ash, what did he think about? How did he keep his mind from straying from the truth of God? I wonder if the friends that came and challenged him were real or were merely personifications of his thoughts.

Personally, one of the things that continues to eat at me is my own confusion about different goals that I have set for myself. Are they purposed by God or simply goals that I set for myself that distract me from God’s purpose for my life? I can rationalize both ways. Not only can I rationalize both ways, but I also recognize that while the future is God’s, we work in community and relationship (as does God with everyone). Then I start to spin out of control with the depth and complexity of the world in which we live.

Did Job just stay focused on the foundation of God’s promise, disbarring any complexity that came to mind and focusing back on the obvious - God’s unfailing love?