Life in the Way

The half-Ironman that wasn’t.

Well, I am getting ready for vacation and thinking about the race that I am signed up for - the Musselman .  Sunday, I am supposed to enter the cold lake water in Geneva, NY at 7:14am to swim 1.2 miles then bike through the town for 56 miles and finish with a 13.1 mile run.

Back in February when I signed up I had plenty of time to train for this half-Ironman.  The experts say there are two types of training, mental and physical because not only do you have to keep you body going for hours, but you also have to be prepared to keep you mind focused for hours.  I would like to think that I am mentally ready.  But, I am woefully physically unprepared.  I made a decision early on in my training to not take away my family time to train.  My job consumes most of my day and what little time I have left I want to give to my family.  There are creative ways that I am able to swim, bike, and run with my children and wife to say fit, but to train for hours on end… well, just can’t do it.

So, I have been wrestling with this goal of mine.  It has been like a thorn in my side.  One that causes me to shutdown and not do anything because if I can’t reach my goal then why try.  That doesn’t make sense unless you are like me and tend to be an all or nothing type of person.  I am not so much anymore because I have learned over the years to function better, but this race has stressed me to the point of revisiting those old ways.

I tried to get out of it and race Saturday in a much shorter race, but to no avail. So, I decided to race.  I am mentally ready.  I am confident (well, not so much) that my body can endure the distance if I am careful and take my time.  But more importantly, I am spiritually ready.

Spiritual readiness is something the the Ironman experts seem to miss.  They talk about how you never know what to expect on race day with the weather and even with your body.  But, I am ready because finish or not, I am comfortable with the decision I made to re-focus my energies with my family (not to their exclusion).  I know that God is with me.  In church, the person filling in on Sunday picked Psalm 23 as one of his texts and I take this as a race day sign from God because as I am in physical turmoil and feeling like I am in the valley of the shadow of death (at about the half-way point in the bike portion of the race) this text will be read at church.

So, off I go… I am going to start the race and God by my side, I am going to try to finish.

Finish or not, the thorn will be gone and I can focus on training for much more manageable triathlons, enjoying every moment with my family.